Happy New Year!!

You know that you´re a flight attendant when...

... you can eat a four course meal standing at the kitchen counter!

Merry Christmas!!!

You know that you´re a flight attendant when...

... All of your pens have different hotel names on them!

Being a flight attendant at home

So imagine you´re at home, doing some fancy cooking (not really...just warming up something in the microwave) and then suddenly - bamm! - you see that your device caught on fire!! We go so often through fire fighting training that when something like this happens, we just tend to remain calm and instantly react following a certain procedure.

So, first thing that came to mind was:

"Ohhh shiiitt!"

Then,

1. Switch the device off.

2. Close the microwave door.

3. Inform the captain...

Oh wait..I´m at home, there´s no captain!!

And just like that, the small fire was extinguished in just a few seconds..

Needless to say that unfortunately we had a fatality - the microwave didn´t survive..

:)

Courtesy of the fabulous Flight Deck #3

You know that you´re a flight attendant when...

... You can recognize pilots by the backs of their heads - but not by their faces!

Boarding time..

Why do people so often don´t give a shit about others? It´s not rare to see so many passengers blocking the boarding flow because they decide to take all their shit out of their bags in the middle of the aisle. And they know they have hundreds of people waiting on them - but they just don´t care.

My mind goes like:

Are you ok? You don´t see all this people jammed up waiting on you? You don´t see any of that, do you? ohhhh, this is your world, it´s all about you, hey? You let us know when you´re all set, "captain you-planet".

Some want to spend as little time as possible there.. Others enjoy every second.

"Do not travel in order to reach a destination, but to travel", Johann von Goethe once said.

Ok, last post about the arrivals hall..!!!!

You know you´re a flight attendant when...

... you can tell from 70 yards away if a piece of luggage will fit in the overhead bin!

Proposal

There comes a time in every mans life when he must figure out how to ask a very important question, and every man reacts differently.

Some will cower and back down while others will cautiously step up to the plate.

There is a third group, however. This is the group that goes above and beyond, and fortunately for us, also somehow manage to capture all of the action on camera.

Ahaha..while entering a plane...

... you see Chucky, the baby terror!

Again, the Arrivals Hall..

Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends.. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around..

You know you´re a flight attendant when...

... You always point with two fingers!

Why do girls only fall in love with assholes?

Really.. Why is that?

And pilots are here no exception at all. I´ve dated a few of their species and I´ve seen a lot too, and believe me, some can be the bigggest dipshit assholes ever.. It amazes me how many of them can live two very different lives and have it totally undiscovered.

It´s not hard I guess, because they´re many nights away from home, from their boring wives and loud kids. They arrive in an idyllic destination far away from home, where problems don´t exist, where cute young hostess enjoy life. Partying is a must. And everything is superficial.

And when the right boy comes along you´re too blind, ´cause you´ve spent too much time with idiots..

How to tell if there is a terrorist at the airport...

Come fly with me...

Chain Vomit

A group of travellers who got a food intoxication while in their holidays boarded my aircraft and spent the whole flight vomiting. All lavatories where disgusting and the smell, oh jeez...that smell.. Glad the flight is over. Being a flight attendant confined in a tin can flying at 38´000 feet with no possible escape sucks sometimes!

Runways..

Right now, from my flat, I´m watching airplanes land. And if it wasn´t snowing, I´d be outside in the balcony enjoying a glass of wine while watching them touch down..



One of the happiest places on Earth...

... the Arrivals Hall